Grammarian humor, author-agent speed dating, and the Fabulous GK

For quite a while now, I've been following the blog of a literary agent who manages to be both informative and witty--in truth, it's the only blog I follow regularly, considering my daily scramble to keep up with Spitfire and Boy Wonder.  (All apologies to my writer friends who are also informative and witty--even scintillating, at times--and whose blogs I have sorely neglected.)

But Agency Gatekeeper (self-nicknamed "GK") graciously gives the inside scoop about the publishing world and the life and work of an agent in colorful detail (often down to the homemade treats she plans to serve her book club).  Wanna know about what happens at publishing parties?  How close knit the publishing community is?  How about learning all the various pitfalls not to fall into as a querying writer?  GK to the rescue!  (See the lovely Superheroine GK I created below, thanks to Marvel's website.)  She provides proof that literary agents are thoughtful people who love books (and authors, provided they're not too crazy) and who really put a lot of heart into their work.

She recently posted about grammar mishaps in manuscripts, a la misused words or phrases, that us sticklers often find either loathsome or hilarious, or both (I tend toward humor or confusion myself).  It took me back to my days of teaching at the university, spending a bit too much time explaining to Freshman Comp students that "try and..." (versus "try to...") and "would of" (versus "would've") that could better have been used in some rousing critical discussion and thinking (yes! freshman are capable of just that).

But my favorite grammatical mishaps came from the couple of years I taught Business Writing to upperclassmen preparing to graduate from the business college.  In fact, I kept a catalogue for a while (long since lost) of the most amusing turns of phrase.  The most popular was a spell check error that somehow turned all of my business majors into thespians and Halloween party purveyors servicing their "costumers."  But I have to admit, my favorite was the former cop who wrote in an introductory letter to me that he had been a "piece officer."  Before I could stop myself, I wrote in the margin, "Is that as in 'packing a piece'?  I thought it was as in 'keeping the peace.'"

Ah, but enough about me.  If the book I'm currently working on (whoops, me again!) makes it anywhere close to a publisher's desk, I will owe a great debt to The Fabulous Miss GK and her insider tips, not to mention her ego-boosting examples of ridiculous things the competition does to fumble their chances.  Here's a link to a great GK post on something I'd never even imagined existed: author-agent speed dating.

Enjoy!

Want to know how not to alienate potential agents?  GK to the rescue!

#9

For food in my belly, good food.  A solid roof over my head.  For peace on my doorstep.  For access to education for every member of my family.  For the library, which provides so much of it (for free!).  For freedom.  For the lovely mouths I feed each day.  The clean clothes I wrap my beloveds in.  The love I cloak them in.  And for love... and for love... and for love... everywhere it comes home to roost.

#8

For the citrus smell that lingers on my hands after I peel an orange to share with my son.  As Pablo Neruda wrote, "Orange, / the world was made / in your likeness."  I can share the world with him, bit by bit, the sweet and freshness of it, and carry some reminiscence with me.

#7

For unexpected opportunities, like my in-laws from across the country potentially moving in to our guest house, and the extended possibility that my brother-in-law might come, too, from China.  You never know how the trajectory of your life might turn on a dime, in a day, and how perceived tragedies might bring with them unexpected blessings.

#6

During a week bookended by holidays, I spotted a butterfly flitting about my neighborhood on Christmas Eve, drove two hours north to meet Santa on a train and play in the snow, narrowly escaped being stranded by a blizzard, saw snow flurries in north Phoenix, and watched Spitfire take her first tentative steps on a pair of roller skates.  Despite never really having settled in to life in the desert, this week has held a mystique that can't be found in many places, and reminds me to appreciate what this place has to offer.  After all, if you can't be with the one you love... love the one you're with.